Packermit

Packard Billy Kermit, more commonly known as Packermit, is the God of Nihilism, Incels and Horniness. He was born on the 12th of April 1999, in Bordeaux, France.

Appearance
His body is a yellow, spherical shape. He has large "frog-like" eyes that he inherited from his father, Kermit, which often have bags under them and look half-closed a lot of the time (mostly due to Packermit's crippling depression). He has pointy, black eyebrows above them. Packermit has large, green lips which cover much of his face, containing a human-like set of teeth, which is unusual, considering neither his father nor his mother had any teeth to speak of themselves.

Packermit also possesses ears and nostrils to hear and smell, but they are holes which are normally obscured by his yellow skin. He also has a single, muscular, green arm sticking out of the bottom of his body, which also acts as a sex organ, specifically a penis, having a hole in the middle of the palm that can secrete large amounts of semen. Some of the semen can be turned in to a substance named "Infinicum" if Packermit wishes to do that. Packermit's skin has the texture of human skin, but is oily, something like feeling the scalp of an incel who hasn't showered in 5 months.

History
Packermit was born in a hospital room in Bordeaux, at exactly 5:33 AM. His father often refers to this event as a "MASSIVE SHITFEST" in capital letters, as it was complete chaos in the hospital room during his birth. The doctor was very late to arrive to the room, which had resulted in much stress from everyone in the room. According to the nurses that were present in the room, Kermit was more stressed about child support and was muttering about debt under his breath.

Packermit was the result of a C-Section birth that was carried out within that hospital room. At first, the doctors were confused as to where the umbilical cord was located, but soon realized that there was something severely wrong with the child. After they took Packermit out, they immediately rushed him into another room to undergo surgery and tests.

While it was indeed a "MASSIVE SHITFEST", tragedy had struck that day. Packermit's mother died in the hospital room due to sepsis. Packermit had also undergone several surgeries, which thankfully were successful, but was diagnosed with a rare gene mutation that disfigured his face and restricted him to a single limb. As the mutation was not named, they named after him, and was called Packard Syndrome (PCS).

Kermit had sadly put Packard for adoption, not wanting to face child support charges, nor wanting to raise a child while he was in debt. Several weeks after Packermit was born, on the 22nd of May, a man named Giuseppe, who raised him in Sicily for many years to come.

As a child, Packermit could not move around properly, as he was restricted to a single limb. Giuseppe, being a carpenter, had built a wooden device that Packermit could sit in and use to move around, using his arm to navigate through. Packermit appreciated the gesture and Giuseppe's kindness to him in his youth, but eventually learned to fly at age 6. Giuseppe was stumped at this, and knew that Packermit was no normal child.

On Packermit's 11th birthday, he was traumatized with several popup ads of porn, and succumbed to the dark world of the internet. He ignored school, Giuseppe, and responsibilities as a whole, and stayed as a shut-in inside his room. Fed up with his behaviour, Giuseppe sent him to his friend Ivan to get a job, around early 2016. Packermit himself still did respect Giuseppe as a parent, so perhaps out of that respect, he obliged and worked under Ivan in Moscow.

Those several months of work involved helping to move crates of metal parts, occasionally assisting Ivan in his laboratory, and drinking beer with his co-workers during breaks. He had met his friend Sayin from Ivan's lab and was probably one of the first few genuine friends he had made in his life.

On August 28th of 2017, Packermit was fired from his job, due to being caught masturbating on his shift several times and accidentally crashing a forklift into several crates of beer that Ivan had hoped to use to build his swimming pool of alcohol. After being fired, Packermit did not return to Giuseppe, but still kept in contact with him ever since he had left home.

A few months after crashing with Sayin in his basement, Packermit had decided that he'd stop browsing through forum sites one day and decided to take a stand for himself. He began exercising his single limb, taking online courses on what he wants to learn, attempted to stop masturbating altogether (but quickly gave up on this one). Sayin respected this, and also began following Packermit's routine out of respect for his friend.

Although, his hardships never ended. No, there were more to come, and more to pass. On the night of November 19th of 2017, Packermit woke up, feeling odd. He drifted near to the fridge to get some water, but someone was waiting before him in the kitchen. They sat behind the counter, with a book in their hands; a being of two heads, with white glowing eyes, wearing a robe that resembled a Greek Chiton for men. They had calm looks on both of their bearded faces, and looked ready for something.

"It is time," they said, both of the heads' voices echoing. "There are many debts that are due, but it is time."

"Who are you?" Packermit shrieked, agitated and scared of this weird-looking Greek guy.

"I am simply a God of Afterlife of this realm, one representing Omnipotence, Politics, and Willing Death," he responded, as calm as ever.

Packermit strangely felt that he know what this god, named Trao, was speaking of, but refused to believe it. "I'M TOO YOUNG," he shouted. "I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

"Death is not the only end for you. It may not be by blood, but rather by Fate having it planned for you, I believe that you are something more, Packard," Trao said, as if talking about today's weather. "You may choose, as I also believe that you have that right. You can walk a new path, but suffer many things as a result, or die willingly, and pass on through a true man's death."

Packermit felt stumped at this. The odd feeling that he knew what Trao was talking about still lingered on through his mind. On one hand, he could walk a "new path" but suffer, or die. Packermit wasn't exactly the smartest person and decided not to judge this choice by logic or morals, but by emotion alone.

"I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"

Both of Trao's heads smiled, watching Packermit carefully. They got up, and placed their right hand's palm over Packermit's forehead, and jets of light filled throughout the room. Packermit felt his senses widening, his resolve weakening, but his power arising, as Trao's Light embraced him. "Be ready for greatness," a voice spoke into his mind, as the light overwhelmed his being. "Be ready for your birthright."

Packermit woke up the following morning, and knew what had happened the previous night. He felt new powers surging through him, something that changed him. He thought it was all some bullshit dream at first and that exercise was having an effect onto him, but quickly realized it wasn't when he broke the doorknob by using his full force that morning. Something had changed in him, and as the last scent of that feeling that he knew what all of this was left him, he immediately knew what had happened to him: Packermit was accepted as a god.

Since then, he had continued exercising, but instead exercised his powers. He learned that he could harden substances that came from him and upgrade them, that he had immense strength, and that he had great speed as well. He later was revisited by Trao on many occasion, and after several conversations with him that weren't recorded (nor were leaked by Trao or Packermit for unknown reasons), Packermit was granted a few unused Concept Titles, and his own dimension.

Around April of 2018, Packermit decided to name a random teenager he had found within England to be his prophet, since he wanted to see if people would worship him. Sadly, he realized that people did not, in fact, appreciate him for being a God of Incels and Lust, and not even his prophet really liked him. Eventually, he succumbed back to incelry, and became a Nihilist, also claiming that as a title.

As of the writing of this page, Packermit spends most of his time in the Soap Shop, living in a room with his friend Sayin, where they sometimes advertise the Soap Shop's goods as employees and are paid a small amount of money and free housing for their work. Packermit is known within the Soap Shop as being a horny weirdo who sometimes inserts his hand in to people's anuses without their consent for fun, and has a famously disturbing collection of porn/hentai, embodying the true spirit of Rule 34 of the internet. His search history is also not for mortal eyes.

Godship
Packermit reigns over Toheaben, an afterlife within The Distortion.

Trivia

 * The idea of Packermit was first conceived by Sheep sometime around April 2018, coinciding with the establishment of his first public Discord community, Coalition of Weeaboos. Packermit was chosen to be the mascot of that server, and remains the icon for the (now dead) server to this day.
 * Packermit was initially planned to be older than 100 years, but this idea was scrapped due to his father still being alive.